Life Soundtrack: Not Too Close With Dad


Perfect by Simple Plan

On my previous posts, I probably sounded like I’m a good daughter but to be honest, I’m not really close with my papang. I don’t hate him but our relationship is kinda like Eric with his dad from That 70’s Show. πŸ˜›

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I’m wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just wanna make you proud
I’m never gonna be good enough for you
Can’t pretend that I’m alright
And you can’t change me

My father used to be a foreman overseas and he never really saw me growing up. When I was 15, he got malaria from Africa and he was sent home. He got well but he was not allowed to work again. I was not used to have him around for a long time. Being a teenager, I did what normal teenagers do. I didn’t have any vices but he’s not always happy with what I’m doing. I had more achievements than my siblings but I never heard from him once that he’s proud of me.

‘Cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect
Now it’s just too late and
We can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect

I’m still keeping the letter he wrote me when I was still eight years old. When I read it as an adult, it made me cried. The letter was full of love and yet I couldn’t feel it anymore

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don’t care anymore

*emo moment*

Haha. Okay… At least now, our relationship is getting better but I think I won’t still be able to express any sweetness as a daughter… Maybe in subtle ways…

>>>25 Songs, 25 Days. Day 3: A song that reminds you of one/both of your parents.25-songs-blog-challenge


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