Goodbye, Papang! ‘Til We Meet Again…

papang

A few hours after my last post, my father passed away. It’s something that we didn’t expect. My heart is broken.

How He Left Us

It was just like a normal day. In the morning, he went to my churchmate’s funeral (who was also my bestfriend’s mom). Then, he went to his brother’s birthday party in the afternoon together with my mother. They got home at about 6:00 PM. They brought home food and asked me if I wanted to eat with them but I was already full so I just stayed inside my room.

I was just blogging until I fell asleep. At about 10:00 PM, my mamang woke me up. My parents were both sleeping in the living room. They have their own mattress there. Mamang saw papang sleeping with his legs outside the mattress so she tried to wake him up but he was not responding. I went to the living room and tried to wake him up as well. I was already shouting his name. I was in panic so I asked my mamang to call someone to bring papang to the hospital. She went outside and there I was with my papang still waking him up. I placed my hand near his nose and mouth. He’s not breathing anymore. 😦 When we got to the hospital, he was already gone. 😦

The Hardest Part

To be honest, I’m still not really in the mood to blog. I’m still sad. I know I’m supposed to be positive in all things but I’ll get to that later. I think what hurts me most is seeing my mother in pain for losing her husband. She has a lot of regrets and what-ifs. I always tell her not to blame herself. We were not all prepared because it was so sudden. My papang wasn’t even sick but God had scheduled papang to only live until August 25, 2014. He was happy and it was peaceful. My father didn’t like to be a burden to us when he gets older and he got what he wanted. I truly miss him but I avoid getting emotional around my mother. Another sad moment: my mamang celebrated her birthday last August 28 during my father’s wake.

Remembering Papang

Looking back, I blogged about my Papang three times. Join me in rereading these blog posts…

  • Papang’s Surgery at St. Luke’s – It’s one of the unforgettable experiences I have with him. We used to fight a lot when I was younger but I think I’ve now matured and during this moment, I was able to show him how much I cared for him.
  • Life Soundtrack: Not Too Close with Dad – This was then. I guess, you only realize things when a person is already gone. Before papang left, my priority was to please him and I felt his appreciation with the things I did for him. How I miss him.
  • The Great 8: Qualities I Admire From My Father –  I told myself that I will show him this post next year. Maybe, I was still not comfortable being expressive with him. That’s one thing I regret. I should have hugged him enough when he was still alive.

The Silver Linings

Despite the pain, I should focus on the bright sides…

  • We didn’t see him suffer. He died peacefully.
  • A lot of people told us how kind my father was. He was a good man.
  • Being a Christian, I know by faith that he is now in a better place.

Today, I’m still grieving but I know that God will use people and other situations to comfort me.

Have you lost a loved one? Please share your experience and how you were able to move on. Thanks. 🙂

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My Voice, My Treasure

If I will be asked what my most-prized possession is, that will be my voice. Why? It’s simple. I use it to sing, to teach, to speak my mind and to cheer up and encourage other people…

I sing.

I know I’m not the best singer but I’ve been singing ever since I can remember… My first public performance was in church when I was five. Listen…

I sing in church.

I joined the school choir when I was in elementary and high school but I figured out that my voice is not for chorale. I started a band when I was in college but it didn’t last because my father was strict. Another reason for that was I was tired of playing cover songs. I wanted to write my own but I didn’t know how. After a couple of years, I gained confidence and was able to compose songs using my guitar. I finally found my own voice.

I think singing runs in my family. I have an aunt who was a singer and used to travel to different countries because of her talent. One day, she went home from a gig. She was tired and she had a fever but she still took a bath. The next day she was brought to the hospital and diagnosed with meningitis. It got complicated that she lost her hearing. Now, she couldn’t hear anything but I admire her for her courage. She’s even braver than my mother when it comes to traveling alone. But she can’t sing anymore. She even talks so loud because she can’t hear her own voice. Sometimes, I wonder, what if it happens to me? What if I lose my voice? I just can’t imagine…

I teach.

Never in my life have I dreamed to be a teacher. I was a lazy student and I didn’t really like teachers. I wanted to take Mass Communication but we didn’t really have enough money for me to study that course or to go to a private school that time. My brother told me to study Education temporarily. I took English as my major hoping I could use it once I shift to a different course or school. As I studied it, I learned to love it. I now understood why God made me a teacher. It feels good to share your knowledge with children but it feels better knowing that you’ve become a part of their lives.

I teach.

Teaching a song in our Pushcart Classroom better known as Kariton Klasrum (an outreach activity). This is from year 2010.

There was a time though when I stopped teaching. I resigned from a private school to transfer to a public school. Getting hired to a public school is hard unless you’re lucky. I waited for a year before I was called. While waiting, I worked as a call center agent. I was a residential billing consultant so I would usually talk to customers with questions and complaints about their bill. It wasn’t an easy job because you have to make all customers happy but sometimes, I just can’t. Maybe that’s just not really my call. I learned to appreciate teaching more. I’m so glad I’m a teacher again but I never regret being able to experience a different job using my voice. It was still a great experience for me.

I speak my mind.

I’m talkative and I talk fast. Hehe. I love writing and I also love to tell stories in person. My co-workers and friends would always tell me that I always explain things. Sorry, I really don’t know how to KISS (keep it short and simple). Ask me a yes-no question and I end up saying a lot of things. Hehe.

I sing more.

My bestfriend and I got invited to sing for the elderly. Our friend celebrates his birthday every year with these lovely people and throw a party for them.

I want to cheer up, encourage and inspire other people.

I care so much about my loved ones so whenever they are down, I try my best to comfort them and lift them up. I’m not sure if I’m good in giving advice but I would definitely encourage them to focus on the bright side of things and trust God. 🙂

I cherish my voice that much and I’m really grateful that He gave me this. I worship God through singing. I serenade people to show them love. I like to share my thoughts by speaking. My voice is my treasure.

And I am also the videoke queen…Karaoke Queen

>>>This is my response to Writing 101, Day Twenty: The Things We Treasure.
>>>Daily Prompt: Voice.

Life Soundtrack: Storm is Coming

Classes are suspended again tomorrow. The governor announced through Facebook that there are areas at risk of severe flooding in our province. I could still remember how afraid I was last Wednesday when Typhoon Glenda hit our town. The winds were so strong that it tore off our kitchen walls. Read the whole story here. Now, I’m getting scared again. High tide is at 4 a.m. and my hometown Cavite City is surrounded by water. I just hope no harm will be done.

This song lifted me up last week. I was literally singing this during the storm until I fell asleep… See? I wouldn’t have to feel the fear because I fell asleep. Hehe. That was God’s response with my prayer.

Still by Hillsong

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father You are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

I just have to put my trust in the Lord.

 

>>>25 Songs, 25 Days. Day 9: A song that makes you hopeful.>>>Daily Prompt: Can’t Watch This.25-songs-blog-challenge5

I’d Rather Have Classes…

So, this is what happened for the last three days…

Covey View

via Rappler.com via Rappler.com

It might be summer at your side of the world but here in the Philippines, it’s the start of the typhoon season. At these months, students and even teachers like me are waiting for class suspensions. Last Monday, when I heard that a typhoon was approaching, I was kind of hoping that classes would be suspended. I always say on my blog posts that I’m so stressed at work and I really wanted to have a day off. And so, last Tuesday I was able to get what I wanted, a day of rest. But now I regret it…

It was still sunny last Tuesday so I expected that the storm would come the next day and I was right. Classes were suspended again on Wednesday. I woke up at 5 a.m. at the sound of the strong wind. I tried to sleep again but hearing the sound…

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Life Soundtrack: Summer is for Youth Camp

There’s always one event that I’ve been waiting for every summer– youth camp and seminar! I started joining this annual two-week event when I was 13 and it gave me lots of wonderful experiences. I met fellow youth believers from different parts of my province and learned different things… but the most important thing is that it helped my faith grew stronger as a teen.

Since I’m an adult now, I’m no longer a camper but I still attend this event every year to become a part of the staff. It was my nephew’s first year as a camper last summer and I was so excited for him. He didn’t really like to join but in the end, he really enjoyed it and he became motivated to use and improve his talents. Here’s the song that reminds me of the last youth camp.

In the future, when I can’t contribute my time and effort to help with this event anymore, I will still help financially. I want the younger generation to experience it and I want this program to continue to train young leaders.

And if I am told that this event will be cancelled forever, it will surely break my heart.

What’s your favorite summer activity? Leave it in the comments.

>>>This is my response to Writing 101, Day Fifteen: Your Voice Will Find You.
>>>Daily Prompt: Musical Marker
>>>25 Songs, 25 Days. Day 7: A song that reminds you of the past summer.25-songs-blog-challenge5