Goodbye, Papang! ‘Til We Meet Again…

papang

A few hours after my last post, my father passed away. It’s something that we didn’t expect. My heart is broken.

How He Left Us

It was just like a normal day. In the morning, he went to my churchmate’s funeral (who was also my bestfriend’s mom). Then, he went to his brother’s birthday party in the afternoon together with my mother. They got home at about 6:00 PM. They brought home food and asked me if I wanted to eat with them but I was already full so I just stayed inside my room.

I was just blogging until I fell asleep. At about 10:00 PM, my mamang woke me up. My parents were both sleeping in the living room. They have their own mattress there. Mamang saw papang sleeping with his legs outside the mattress so she tried to wake him up but he was not responding. I went to the living room and tried to wake him up as well. I was already shouting his name. I was in panic so I asked my mamang to call someone to bring papang to the hospital. She went outside and there I was with my papang still waking him up. I placed my hand near his nose and mouth. He’s not breathing anymore. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ When we got to the hospital, he was already gone. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

The Hardest Part

To be honest, I’m still not really in the mood to blog. I’m still sad. I know I’m supposed to be positive in all things but I’ll get to that later. I think what hurts me most is seeing my mother in pain for losing her husband. She has a lot of regrets and what-ifs. I always tell her not to blame herself. We were not all prepared because it was so sudden. My papang wasn’t even sick but God had scheduled papang to only live until August 25, 2014. He was happy and it was peaceful. My father didn’t like to be a burden to us when he gets older and he got what he wanted. I truly miss him but I avoid getting emotional around my mother. Another sad moment: my mamang celebrated her birthday last August 28 during my father’s wake.

Remembering Papang

Looking back, I blogged about my Papang three times. Join me in rereading these blog posts…

  • Papang’s Surgery at St. Luke’s – It’s one of the unforgettable experiences I have with him. We used to fight a lot when I was younger but I think I’ve now matured and during this moment, I was able to show him how much I cared for him.
  • Life Soundtrack: Not Too Close with Dad – This was then. I guess, you only realize things when a person is already gone. Before papang left, my priority was to please him and I felt his appreciation with the things I did for him. How I miss him.
  • The Great 8: Qualities I Admire From My Father –ย  I told myself that I will show him this post next year. Maybe, I was still not comfortable being expressive with him. That’s one thing I regret. I should have hugged him enough when he was still alive.

The Silver Linings

Despite the pain, I should focus on the bright sides…

  • We didn’t see him suffer. He died peacefully.
  • A lot of people told us how kind my father was. He was a good man.
  • Being a Christian, I know by faith that he is now in a better place.

Today, I’m still grieving but I know that God will use people and other situations to comfort me.

Have you lost a loved one? Please share your experience and how you were able to move on. Thanks. ๐Ÿ™‚

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The Great 8: Qualities I Admire From My Father

Last month, I made an article about the qualities I admire from my mamang. It’s Father’s Day tomorrow and even though I’m not that close with my papang, I’ll make a positive article about him to make it fair. ๐Ÿ™‚ Okay, I love my father, don’t get me wrong. I’m just not really expressive and he’s not either. Maybe I got that from him?

1. He is a provider. All responsible dads will really do this, right? But I admire how my papang did everything he could just to provide for us. He also worked overseas for a long time, hence, explains the gap between us but I know he made that sacrifice to give us a good life. He’s now 65 years old but you will see from his actions that he still wants to be the one to work for us.

2. He is loyal to my mother. I’m proud to say that my papang, despite the distance, never left my mother for another woman.

3. He is a good disciplinarian. Back then, one of the ways parents discipline their children was by spanking or belting but my father didn’t do that. Or maybe he did once, to my older siblings (and I think I got slapped, too. :P). My brother said it was an effective way of discipline because he couldn’t forget that one time. If he punished them every single mistake, they would have been immune. I think I apply this technique to my students (not the punishment). I don’t get too angry all the time so they won’t get used to it like being angry becomes normal.

4. He has masculine skills.ย If there’s something wrong around the house, he’ll definitely fix it. He can be an electrician, a carpenter, a plumber, a mechanic, etc.

5. He is open-minded. He is strict compared to other dads but it’s still easier to ask permission from him than from my mother. Haha.

6. He has musical genes.ย I’m so glad I got these and I hope my children, too. โค

7. He is hard-working.ย He doesn’t like doing nothing. It’s becoming one of the reasons why we argue these days though because he likes to work around the house but he should avoid it now due to the surgery he had.

8. He is a protector.ย Over-all, I think my father did (and still does) a great job as the head of the family. He kept us safe and made sure we are all living a comfortable life. He sure loves us.

 

Happy Father’s Day to all dads out there!

The Great 8: Qualities I Admire From My Mother

Tomorrow’s Mother’s Day! Yesterday, I was asking my mamang if I can possibly learn how to be a mother. I mean, yeah, I can probably make a baby but being a real mother, I think, is different. Knowing myself, I wonder if I can be a great one. Whenever I see my friends with their babies, I feel like I want to have my own now. Haha. But seriously, just holding a baby scares me. I’m clumsy and careless sometimes. She said maternal instincts come out naturally when you already have your own child. I’m a grown-up now (kinda.haha) and thinking how my mamang does as a mother leaves me in complete awe.

Here are some of her qualities and skills I want to have.

1. Her ability to do many things. My mother is a stay-at-home mom but she can be a teacher, chef, nurse, seamstress and anything you can think of as long as it is needed at home. She can even do them simultaneously. My multi-tasking skills are only limited to singing while playing guitar. So, she totally rocks!

2. Her punctuality. It’s really hard to wake up in the morning to go to school or work but everytime I get up, she is already done preparing breakfast.

3. Her resourcefulness and her problem-solving skills. She’ll always find a way.

4. Her (intuition) and compassion. I’m not the type of daughter who tells her mother everything but surprisingly, she feels it when I’m going through something and she knows how to comfort me.

5. Her commitment. She knew what she signed up for and she’s still doing her responsibilities as a wife and a mother for forty years.

6. Her patience. She can handle living with a spoiled brat (me) and an aging stubborn husband (papang).

7. Her courage and strength. Not only she endured the pain of labor and delivery three times, she also faced a lot of challenges and struggles as she raised us and overcome them. My mother was not a single mom but my father used to work overseas when we were kids so it was still difficult for her.

8. Her selflessness. If there’s a whole chicken on the table, I’d make sure I get my favorite part ahead of my sister. But my mother, she’s satisfied with just a lot of rice and just a small amount of viand as long as everyone’s happy. I cannot count the times she sacrificed something for me and my siblings.

I’m not accurate with the number 8 on this post but that’s because I have a great mom. I’m sure there are still a lot of admirable skills and traits every mother has and I hope I’ll have them someday. ๐Ÿ™‚

Happy Mother’s Day to all the beautiful mothers out there! ๐Ÿ™‚